how to give body image the finger

sometimes i like to have cake for breakfast, a doughnut or two for lunch, and some chocolate chip cookies for dinner because i'm a mother fucking adult. i pay rent, i go to work, and i'm working on securing some health benefits one day in the distant future--so i can eat cake for breakfast if i want to. but of course, this celebratory lifestyle leads to those days when my jeans feel tight, my coat won't button, and my mood gets real sour. here are a few things i do to feel instantly better:

1. tilt your mirror at an angle
while trying on clothes at h&m a few weeks ago, i caught myself thinking, damn i look good and i knew it wasn't the cheap, questionable quality of h&m ware, so i peeked around the corner of the floor length mirror to see what sexy magical nymph was mimicking my moves in the mirror--and lo and behold, i noticed just how angled the mirror was. now, i'm really bad at math (defying stereotypes, holla), but if i had to guess i'd say the mirror was propped up at a nearly 30 degree angle--the perfect number to make me look tall, skinny, and smug as hell.

so, like any asshole who makes you feel fat, ugly, or unworthy, handle it and make that bitch lean (30 degrees or so).

2. be active doing the things you like
while i get stupid-excited about the chance to sit on the couch all day and do nothing the way other people get stupid-excited about porn--i concede i must undergo some sort of physical activity to burn off the cinnamon rolls i consume by the dozen. however, no one said you have to go to the gym. fuck gyms. gyms are for pretty people being pretty in front of other pretty people -- or swole people being swole in front of other swole people ... or for the very few, normal people trying to work out, but you average outliers, i have nothing to say to you, carry on. i like to climb, boulder, jump animatedly at the prospect of a warm cinnamon roll, and roll around in the grass with my dog. these are all physical activities that burn cinnamon roll calories.

so, do fun things that require moving your limbs; chase food trucks, take up kick boxing, try yoga, stalk a really active person, or whatever other fun things kids are doing now.

3. eat whatever the fuck you want
as long as you have some vegetables to balance out the gluttony (cauliflower chocolate cake, just sayin'), then my god eat whatever the hell tickles your fancy. eat cake for breakfast and a chocolate covered churro for lunch, eat an avocado at 2 am between fisting drinks, and then finish off the night by eating a sexy ass man or woman before bed. enjoy everything you put in your mouth, and don't punish yourself for having a good time.

so, know your limits and eat accordingly--some of us have been training for the last 26 years and can easily polish off an entire bag of chips in one sitting. word.

4. use your scale upside down
fuckkkk scales. turn that piece of shit upside down and then step up on it. assess your weight by how you feel. here's my mantra: today, i ______, ate _______, and feel _________.  so as i stepped on my overturned scale earlier tonight i said: today, i walked around costco (which equals a thousand miles because  it's stupidily big), ate a dozen rainbow-colored macarons and a churro, and feel fucking awesome.

so, do that. because the number behind how much you weigh isn't nearly as significant as how you feel at that weight. jokes aside, if you are feeling heavy and sluggish at your current weight, don't beat yourself up and don't harp on what the scale says (because fuck scales). just do more of the above fun stuff and perhaps eat just 6 macarons instead of 12.

5. fuck being happy about your body
body image bullshit comes in 2 magazine headlines: 1) how to get the perfect body  2) how to be perfectly content with your body. with either choice, you're still seeking perfection and what other aspect of your life is ever 100% perfect? sometimes you love your job and are perfectly content and other times you want to set your cubicle on fire--i absolutely adore and love my perfect dog, charlie, but sometimes he takes a giant shit on my laptop, and i love him a little less.

so, be ok with the fact that some days you're going to love your body a little less (like when you're hung over). some days you'll rub your little rice pouch and wonder if you should have had that extra bowl for dinner (yes.) whereas other days your arms look stellar in that corduroy vest (because who.the.fuck. doesn't look stellar in a corduroy vest). for the days that i really feel the prominence of my pouch, i don my favorite pair of jeans or that hot dress that i think i look awesome in and get.the.fuck on with life. if you think you look good, so will everyone else.

6. cut the size tags off all your clothes
just fucking do it.

what are your favorite ways to give body image the finger? leave your suggestions in the comments because i may or may not have--but most definitely did eat a shoe box-sized mound of french fries before typing this out, and will be tilting my mirror a little more than 30 degrees tomorrow.

see you next thursday,
melissa

A Little Love Goes a Long Way

I literally went MIA last week due to the events that occurred. The Boston bombings and the Texas plant explosion had me distracted and following every piece of information I possibly could for 5 days straight. It was a strange week and one that was draining and emotional.

All in all, I was reminded that life is too short. I need to find a way to deal with life's challenges and failures in a more positive way and value the relationships I have. I thank God everyday that through His grace, I make it through the day. Every day is a blessing in some little way. Seeing runners' vigils being organized in honor of Boston victims across the country was inspiring and touching. A little love goes a long way.

Anyways, I've been reflecting a lot in the past week and a half but you'll see a new entry soon! I'll follow up on Melissa's previous entry about CrossFit and the Paleo lifestyle as well as body image. I'll also provide some tips and advice for those who are interested in or would like to start strength training! Stay tuned!

-Diane

boston, texas, and places beyond

friends, there has been much to be sad about lately.

by now, you have seen the heart-stopping video; the panic in it is palatable. i'm sure your entire office stopped to read every new update just as mine did.
the explosions were horrific, and the events that have unfolded afterward are terrible.
my heart is heavy for the three that died and the hundreds that were hurt, that's a given. but what i was hoping we could discuss are the actions of others after––both the good and bad.

the good are the hundreds who aided victims by tying tourniquets, comforting the scared, continuing to run straight to the hospital to donate blood after running 26 miles in the marathon, wheeling the injured to medical attention, and all the folks who offered up their homes and hearts to the displaced or lonely.

but the bad, the bad sings a sorrowful song so familiar it rings in my ears, pounds in my head, and aches in my heart.

• why did someone tackle a young man who was injured and running from the very same bomb that so many others were hurt by and running from?
• why did cnn report that folks should be on the look out for a "dark-skinned or black male with a possible foreign accent" when no one knew (and still don't know) who was behind the attack?
• why was a man, who was leaving a mosque in queens, threatened with a gun?
• why was a 17 year old accused of being the bomber?
• why was a mother called a terrorist?
• why was a man in new york beaten and called a 'a (expletive) Arab'?

Ibrahim Hooper, council national communications director, said the council is urging Muslim individuals and Islamic institutions to review advice on security procedures contained in its "Muslim Community Safety Kit." 

• why does there need to be a Muslim Community Safety Kit?

of course, i know the answer to these questions. 

as if there wasn't enough hurt this week, last night there was a large fertilizer plant explosion in west texas where as many as 35 could be dead and hundreds injured. and as i type this now, i see updates from friends about a shooting in boston as well as possible explosive detonations; a bomb exploded in a coffee shop in baghdad killing 27; 30 workers on a farm in greece were shot after disputing unpaid wages; 42 people were killed in a series of car bombs in Iraq; there is some serious shit going on in syria; and the us senate rejected background checks for gun purchases and banning semi-automatic weapons modeled after military assault rifles (because it would have just made too much sense). 

there is much to be sad about, my friends.

swolder status

hello there friends!

did y'all read Diane's post on gymin' ladies? i must admit that i have no knowledge of swole-dering (swole for those of you outside of the south is getting buff), but i do from time-to-time leave my computer long enough do a sit-up or two. (not. i fucking hate sit ups. you either love my belly or get-da-fuck-outta-here.)

i agree with D that no woman should have to feel uncomfortable at the gym, and should be able to get her swole on wherever she wants. i'm a climber, so my gyms are usually filled with a different crowd (though there are definitely some nose-to-the-sky folks too) of stick-thin men who work out against working out. they're anti-swole, bearded, sensitive men and the female-to-male ratio at most climbing gyms is pretty even because, well, women are awesome. why not have gaggles of them nearby?

and while we're on the topic of fitness -- would love to know more about your clean eating, D. if i am not mistaken, i believe our Lady D follows a paleo diet and is an avid crossfitter -- two things that i hear are male-dominant. Would be great to hear more about the gender gap in those crowds too.

i'm curious, what's everyone else's gym like? or if you don't go to the gym (good for you), how do you keep healthy (my answer: eating poorly and aging badly).

as for what she wrote about being afraid of me, well, what can i say:

i'd be intimidated of me too. 

See you next thursday,

-melissa

Women and Weightlifting: I'm Getting My Sexy Fitness On

Hey everyone! Things have calmed down at work so I’m finally getting to post this entry on my regularly scheduled day, as per my agreement with Melissa. Plus, I’m deathly afraid of Melissa; so I know if I don’t post something, I’ll suffer the ramifications of her wrath.

One extremely important but random update for today? It is hot as balls in my office. It’s feeling like spring outside at a nice, warm 85 degrees; however, facilities refuse to turn on the AC in the building because they are afraid it may get cold again. My coworkers and I look like we just popped mollies and we sweatin!! I was really tempted to take a half day and stand in front of my freezer but alas, Whole Foods has a sale on boxes of mangoes for $7.99 each! So, I’m trekking outside to covet these goodies. I’m a happy girl J Update: I just went to Whole Foods and the mangoes were gone. Motherfucker.

Anyways, I wanted to approach the topic of exercise and gender roles at the gym. It’s been on my mind but an incident last week pushed me to finally write about it. It seems trouble is always looking for me…especially in the form of douchebags. I was at the gym one morning, getting my sexy fitness on with the squat rack when a guy approached me and said something along the lines of “you should lift some lighter dumbbells; the squats you’re doing are too heavy.” I thought about releasing my inner bitch but decided against it since it was so early in the morning. I opted to say, “I’m okay here at the squat rack. You can lift the dumbbells if you want but I’m fine where I’m at.” *Bitch stare* My sister knows what my bitch stare looks like and is probably laughing her ass off now. 

I mean what kind of bullshit is that?! When it comes to the gym, it is apparent how segregated it is and how gender roles impact physical fitness for both men and women. You have men who dominate the weight room, grunting and screaming, like a scene out of a horror film. You have women who take over the cardio machines, torturing themselves for hours (surprisingly, their makeup is still on. That’s suspect.) There is no intermingling between the two in the weight room. 

As an Asian American woman, I not only have to struggle with these gender roles but with people’s preconceived notions of me as an ethnic minority. I’m Asian so therefore, I have to be petite and skinny right? What am I doing with these heavy weights? I thought about what the guy had mentioned to me, and it just goes to show how prevalent these gender roles are, even in our everyday routines. That being said, I’m a huge proponent of strength training, especially HEAVY strength training. I think that women shouldn’t be afraid to confidently walk into the free weight area and push themselves. We’re not going to get big and buff like men because we do NOT have testosterone (and those who are freakishly ripped are probably on steroids by the way). Women can lift just like men and be strong and sexy.

Case in point:

 

I don’t want to bore you to death so I’ll leave it at that for today. In connection to this entry, I’m going to discuss my experience as an Asian American woman struggling with body image next week. Stay tuned!

-Diane

The Dating World. It’s Scary. And Yellow Fever is Very Much Real.

So I recently joined the dating scene, mainly because of my 2013 resolution that I needed to date more. Obviously, I wasn’t getting any action (and by action, I mean dinner dates) by just staying at home and watching movies. Long story short, I dated this one guy for about two months and things seemed like they were going well. That is, until we were discussing Halloween for some God-knows-what reason and he mentioned that he would love to see his girlfriend in a geisha costume one day. WHAT?! Hold up. Oh…shit. It’s about to get real up in here!

I kid you not; he also added that “Asian women love him long time so it wasn’t a problem getting them to wear a geisha costume.” 

I flipped out.

I literally stopped talking to him because my “yellow fever” alarm was blaring. What’s yellow fever you ask? To put it nicely, it’s the predilection that Western men have for women of Asian descent aka that nasty fetish when men obsess over Asian women because they are “exotic” or some bullshit like that. It scares the shit out of me…and it pisses me off that I didn’t catch this sooner. Now I regret all of the dinner dates we had, even though it was free. I’m such a gold digger.

It’s this strange, unhealthy obsession that turns me off to men. Not all men, but if you utter something as stupid as that, then you’re dead to me. Why can’t you like me for me? For my intelligence? Motivation? Interests? Not as an object to fulfill your sick desires. Let me tell you, dating is scary because I’m always on guard for the next ignorant remark about Asian American women. And I don’t take it lightly. Then you’d wish you never met me.

Anyone have any “yellow fever” experiences or stories they would like to share?

If you want to find out more about “yellow fever,” there is a web series to Debbie Lum’s documentary Single Asian Female that explores this issue. For more information, visit They're All So Beautiful.

- Diane

4 films you need to see now

folks in the bay area and beyond, i'd like to introduce you to CAAMFest––previously known as the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival (whew that's a mouth full).

this is the first year they've rebranded the festival to include more than just film. the week-long festival featured cooking demos, musical performances, discussion panels, and more; perhaps inspiration was drawn from one SXSW festival?

the hunch isn't too far fetched considering CAAM's (Center for Asian American Media) Festival and Exhibitions Director was austin's own Executive Director for the sadly now-defunct Austin Asian American Film Festival (anyone interested in reprising it, btw? i have no idea what it will take, but i've got some blood, guts, and PLENTY of tears to give. hollaaa)

the film i'm most excited to share with y'all is taiwan's Go Grandriders, a documentary about a group of 80+ year olds who embark on a 730 mile epic journey on motorbikes. these grandpas and grandmas are spunky, endearing, lively, tough, introspective, enlightening, and fucking cute.

Tien-hao Hua, the documentary's director, did a fabulous job capturing tender moments and comedic gold. it made my bellyache from laughter and my eyes moist from begrudged tears––emotions are the devil, said melissa.

3 other notable films were Turn it Up to 11, Part 2 and Xmas Without China. Turn it Up follows korean punk band Galaxy Express as they tour around texas––playing SXSW and smaller shows in pizza parlors, basements, country bars, and dorm rooms. not only was it interesting to see how korean punk rockers were received in my hometown but also what they thought of the southern state. the film turned out to be a fun and heartfelt diary of folks in search of a good time in unsuspecting places.

and Xmas Without China followed a filmmaker––originally from china but who grew up in southern california––as he challenged an average white american family, aptly named the Jonses, to go the entire month of december without using or purchasing any products made in china. the Jonses' struggles, while realizing just how much comes from asia, was entertaining and downright funny at times, but the real engaging point was filmmaker Tom Xia's story and his family: reshaping american identity.

lastly, Debbie Lum's documentary Seeking Asian Female about a white man with an extreme asian fetish (and a hard drive full of mail order bride profiles) will both fascinate and alarm you. let me just say, i left the theater with a much different feeling than when i walked in -- and i'm not sure if i'm ok with that. the Q&A with Debbie and Phil Yu of Angry Asian Man filled up within 10 minutes of the doors opening and NPR's This American Life recently spotlighted the film. so it's getting plenty of buzz.

and i lied in my last entry to get you here -- i rubbed no one. allegedly.
-melissa