Ok, so I’ve been itching to write this. Interracial dating and these weird ass fetishes men have about Asian American women. Men, take heed because this advice will drastically improve your chance of getting some ass….wait, I don’t want to help you creepers get ass – scratch that. This advice will help you not get your ass kicked or tased by some crazy female (I don’t have a taser, I promise).
Tip #1: Never ever EVER say “Me love you long time.”
This happened when I was living in Austin back in the day. I walked into a bar with my friend and we passed this group of white guys. Two of them decided to tag team us – which by the way is creepy and we’re not meat, k thanks. The first one strolled up to me and believe it or not, this ridiculous line was the first thing to come out of his mouth, “Me love you long time.” The other just simply told my friend that he “loves Asian women.” Really? Oh! Here is my taser!
Tip #2: Don’t talk about your balls.
Houston, Texas. My friend was at a really chill bar and wanted to play some skeeball. However, there weren’t any balls on the table. (Alright, alright you already know where I’m going with this but please bear with me. This is as painful as waiting for the dentist to fucking drill a hole in your mouth…I hate the dentist by the way). So these two guys sauntered up to my friend and one of them said, “Are you looking for some balls? These balls are too big for Asians.” I don’t know if I’m more offended that 1) you just mentioned a play on words about your own balls or 2) that you just insulted my vagina. Hold up dickwad, let me take off my earrings.
Alright, so I’m done giving tips. If you’re spewing shit like this to Asian/Asian American women or any other woman of color, it’s rightfully so that a female will open up a can of ass whooping on you. Whatever happened to approaching a woman in a respectful manner?
I think it’s important to draw the line between fetishizing someone and actually liking the individual for who they are. I don’t go around expecting something from someone i.e. how mostly white men expect Asian women to be submissive and fulfill their sexual needs OR perpetuating stereotypes i.e. me love you long time (Here is that extra shit - broken English! You so funny! HAHA! Fuck you.). It’s like me going up to a black man and saying, “Hey, I heard you’re hung, let’s get together.” Yeah – real smooth, Diane. But back to my point...men, if you take anything away from this post, just remember – no one likes fetishes. Contrary to what you may believe, you are NOT cool. And if you get your ass kicked, it’s your own damn fault.
-Diane
