Why Did I Choose "American Asian?"

By Diane Nguyen


I chose American Asian because it is symbolic of the two worlds I live in. Although I was born here in the United States and lived in Texas for years (yes, there are Asians in Texas by the way…except for the Panhandle area. Wait, sorry Dougie Fresh – poor soul), I still am connected to a rich culture that my parents have kept in this “home away from home.”

However, navigating these two worlds was and continues to be a challenge. I was constantly asking myself, “How can I fit in?” In middle school and high school, no matter how hard I tried, I was either an outcast from the Viet kids or from the popular clique. If I tried to fit in with the popular crowd, I was too “white-washed”; and if I tried to hang with my Asian folks, I was considered too “fobby” aka “fresh off the boat.”

Shit, I couldn’t do anything right!

But isn’t this the case for many people of color growing up? Just because of the color of our skin and physical characteristics, we’re forced to identify with a racial category and on the other spectrum, people place us in these narrowly, defined categories. With my fellow Asian Americans, one look our way and BOOM, we’re foreigners – where the hell did we come from? We don’t belong here. But all in all, American Asian captures the experience I had growing up as a second-generation Vietnamese American and the struggles my community, and many others like me, continue to face.

This blog is a meaningful and engaging way to encourage dialogue about Asian American issues. It’s an open, informal space to really discuss any topic but we also encourage you to question and analyze these different issues. Question everything, listen to others, educate yourself.

What is 'American Asian'?

I went back and forth with the title 'American Asians'. Whereas the conventional term, 'Asian American', describes an American of Asian decent, 'American Asian' can be taken as merely an Americanized Asian -- not really American, still foreign.

But, isn't that an issue Asian Americans face every day? When someone asks us: No, but where are you really from? Does that not make us feel foreign? Despite being born in Houston, Chicago, or New York City, isn't the underlying thinking behind that awful question that we're not truly American, that we must be from somewhere else?

For me, calling our blog 'American Asians' was a conscious acknowledgement of this foreignness thrusted on us. We are foreign despite where we were born or where we live, but instead because of the shape of our eyes or nose or the foods that we eat and the languages that we speak.

For so long, we have been back alley fry cooks manically yelling, "di di mau".  We have been broken-Englished nail technicians. Buck-toothed, squinty-eyed caricatures. "Hi-ya!" screaming, high-kicking, karate master bad guys. Bepectacled, quiet, uninteresting bookworms. Unattractive, asexual, boy in the background of the class. Short-skirted, fair-skinned, exotic temptress.

But there is a movement growing; if you navigate your browser away from Facebook, turn the volume down on the tv, leave your iPhone at home, you can hear the buzz: we are redefining what it means to be Asian American. And I don't just mean the 3 of us here, but all of us brothers and sisters: West coast, East coast, the dirty South and beyond, we're taking back our identities.

Diane, Doug, and I each have our own views, our own perspectives, our own thoughts on what it means to be 20-something Asian Americans, fresh out of school -- some of us back in school seeking higher enlightenment -- in different cities across the U.S., existing, carving out space and navigating day-to-day life.

I'd like to share these experiences with you here. This blog is just an open space for us to share our lives, talk about what's going on and things we see, whether it be about foods we love, stories we like, or media portrayals we hate.

I hope that you'll enjoy our words and add your own. Join our discussion, give us your perspective, and help us create a living, growing portrait of what it means to be Asian American in 2012.


-melissa

Who We Are

Diane:

Told you I was fancy.

Dallas raised, I spent most of my teenage days doing the usual, hanging out with azn gangs, pretending I was a badass as the #1 clarinet player in the city (I really was), and daydreaming about becoming a Hennessy spokesperson/model. The Hennessy spokesperson dream, unfortunately didn’t happen but I was later deemed “Henny” by my friends because of an incident I choose not to elaborate on, but hey, close enough.


I graduated from The University of Texas at Austin with a major in cultural anthropology aka the typical major for graduates who have failed at their life dreams in general. My parents almost disowned me for not becoming a doctor – whew, dodged a bullet – but I went on to work with higher education, social justice, and education policy issues, the epitome of lifelong unfulfillment.


Recently relocated to Washington, DC for a baller job, I don’t do shit and really, just serve as a complaint receptacle and doormat. I drink whiskey and party like my life depends on it. When I’m not in a drunken stupor, you can find me eating chicken wings or painting my nails because I’m so damn fancy. I’m so dope like the Louboutins with the red bottoms--that's all you need to know.

Melissa:

charming the pants off everyone i meet since 1987

Melissa graduated from the University of Texas at Austin in English and Asian American Studies, despite her parents’ cries of inevitable starvation.

After almost 3 years in indie publishing and inevitable starvation, she decided if she had to count one more stack of envelopes, she’d swallow a gallon of the publishing house’s black printer ink (rendered obsolete by the fucking Kindle). That night, she fell asleep with her contacts in and saw her dreams more clearly. She left New York City in hopes of finding a soul.

The journey continues.

Melissa’s biggest disappointment in life thus far is getting bronchitis and finding that it was not a new pet dinosaur.

Oh, and she's back in indie publishing––and still hungry. 

Doug:

Born into the backcountry of Texas, I grew up like your typical white kid…that is to say, thinking I was black.  I’m not talking the baggy pants, dealing-drugs portrayal that our media does so well to push into the limelight, I’m referring to the ebonic-using, rap-listening, subwoofer purchasing lifestyle that is so glamorized (I had rims on my car…so what!)  I hung around, associated with, and courted in that circle of people.  Yes, I said courted because that’s what gentleman do.  In retrospect, those were some good times.

It wasn’t until college that I rediscovered myself as an Asian-American…a bad one at that but still Asian and in America.  I met most of the prerequisites and thus they were forced to let me in.  Fast-forward four years, 3 major changes (I tried all the typical Asian ones – doctor, engineer) and I was ready to graduate with a degree in disappointing my parents – sociology can have that instantaneous reaction on Chinese parents. 

Post-graduation, not wanting to join the real world of 9-5 jobs and responsibility, I decided to continue on my academic career and ventured away from the distractions that Texas offers (beautiful women, fried foods, and country music).  I frolicked toward a fresh, new place where I could start over and apply my time to studying a topic to heal myself and others…or just avoid growing up.