You’re too fat. You’re too skinny. Your butt is too big. F***, can I just eat this burger?!

Ok, I’m finally back from my hiatus. I know you all were eagerly awaiting my arrival. Last week, it was my birthday so there were some celebrations in place. Let’s just say I have a lovely reminder of my birthday weekend with my clothes spattered in throw-up (not mine, by the way. Ain’t that some shit??). Eh, it is what it is. I’m a year older and I thank the Lord for this and for all the blessings in my life.

So, I’ve been meaning to blog on this topic – body image – as a follow up to my last post. Has anyone been through this?

Mom: “You’re too fat. Your butt is really big too. You need to diet.”

A week later….

Mom: “You’re too skinny. You need to eat more.”

A week later…

Mom: “You’re getting a little chub chub there. As long as you exercise, you can eat anything.”

You get the point. After a while, I was seriously like, “Mom, I’m still going to eat this damn burger and YES, it’s going to my hips! And YES, I don’t care!” I know I’m not the only one out there who has had to deal with Asian parents and the never-ending body scrutinizing. I think at one time last year, my dad just looked at me and just said “Fat.” Nothing else. Come on pops….you gonna do me like that?!

Growing up, I’ve always had low self-esteem about my body and the way it looked; hell, I’m still self-conscious about it today but I’m working on it! And I love my parents and I know they had my best interests in mind, but it wasn’t easy grappling with my body image hearing those comments. This plays into the bigger picture of how female bodies are “supposed” to look in today’s society. It’s sexy if you’re a size 0 and are super slim. You have to starve yourself to look “good.” I mean, men even have a say in what they think women’s bodies should look like! Women hate on each other and in my own experience, they can be the harshest critics. It really makes me angry seeing women struggle with their body image because 1) it’s discouraging and 2) it can cause mental, emotional, and physical issues.

I bring this up because I just want women to see how beautiful their bodies are. Everyone is unique. Love your body. If you want to eat a damn pizza slice, then fucking do it. If you want to lift weights, then go ahead (you’re not going to get swole like a dude)! If you have curves, then flaunt it! You’re not “fat.” And no matter what anyone says, you’re fucking beautiful. I am sick and tired of seeing women depriving their bodies, trying to fit into a standard that is just not healthy or positive. 

Now, excuse me while I go stuff my face with this pizza. Because I'm beautiful. And I'll do what I fucking want. Bitch.

-Diane