boston, texas, and places beyond

friends, there has been much to be sad about lately.

by now, you have seen the heart-stopping video; the panic in it is palatable. i'm sure your entire office stopped to read every new update just as mine did.
the explosions were horrific, and the events that have unfolded afterward are terrible.
my heart is heavy for the three that died and the hundreds that were hurt, that's a given. but what i was hoping we could discuss are the actions of others after––both the good and bad.

the good are the hundreds who aided victims by tying tourniquets, comforting the scared, continuing to run straight to the hospital to donate blood after running 26 miles in the marathon, wheeling the injured to medical attention, and all the folks who offered up their homes and hearts to the displaced or lonely.

but the bad, the bad sings a sorrowful song so familiar it rings in my ears, pounds in my head, and aches in my heart.

• why did someone tackle a young man who was injured and running from the very same bomb that so many others were hurt by and running from?
• why did cnn report that folks should be on the look out for a "dark-skinned or black male with a possible foreign accent" when no one knew (and still don't know) who was behind the attack?
• why was a man, who was leaving a mosque in queens, threatened with a gun?
• why was a 17 year old accused of being the bomber?
• why was a mother called a terrorist?
• why was a man in new york beaten and called a 'a (expletive) Arab'?

Ibrahim Hooper, council national communications director, said the council is urging Muslim individuals and Islamic institutions to review advice on security procedures contained in its "Muslim Community Safety Kit." 

• why does there need to be a Muslim Community Safety Kit?

of course, i know the answer to these questions. 

as if there wasn't enough hurt this week, last night there was a large fertilizer plant explosion in west texas where as many as 35 could be dead and hundreds injured. and as i type this now, i see updates from friends about a shooting in boston as well as possible explosive detonations; a bomb exploded in a coffee shop in baghdad killing 27; 30 workers on a farm in greece were shot after disputing unpaid wages; 42 people were killed in a series of car bombs in Iraq; there is some serious shit going on in syria; and the us senate rejected background checks for gun purchases and banning semi-automatic weapons modeled after military assault rifles (because it would have just made too much sense). 

there is much to be sad about, my friends.

swolder status

hello there friends!

did y'all read Diane's post on gymin' ladies? i must admit that i have no knowledge of swole-dering (swole for those of you outside of the south is getting buff), but i do from time-to-time leave my computer long enough do a sit-up or two. (not. i fucking hate sit ups. you either love my belly or get-da-fuck-outta-here.)

i agree with D that no woman should have to feel uncomfortable at the gym, and should be able to get her swole on wherever she wants. i'm a climber, so my gyms are usually filled with a different crowd (though there are definitely some nose-to-the-sky folks too) of stick-thin men who work out against working out. they're anti-swole, bearded, sensitive men and the female-to-male ratio at most climbing gyms is pretty even because, well, women are awesome. why not have gaggles of them nearby?

and while we're on the topic of fitness -- would love to know more about your clean eating, D. if i am not mistaken, i believe our Lady D follows a paleo diet and is an avid crossfitter -- two things that i hear are male-dominant. Would be great to hear more about the gender gap in those crowds too.

i'm curious, what's everyone else's gym like? or if you don't go to the gym (good for you), how do you keep healthy (my answer: eating poorly and aging badly).

as for what she wrote about being afraid of me, well, what can i say:

i'd be intimidated of me too. 

See you next thursday,

-melissa

Women and Weightlifting: I'm Getting My Sexy Fitness On

Hey everyone! Things have calmed down at work so I’m finally getting to post this entry on my regularly scheduled day, as per my agreement with Melissa. Plus, I’m deathly afraid of Melissa; so I know if I don’t post something, I’ll suffer the ramifications of her wrath.

One extremely important but random update for today? It is hot as balls in my office. It’s feeling like spring outside at a nice, warm 85 degrees; however, facilities refuse to turn on the AC in the building because they are afraid it may get cold again. My coworkers and I look like we just popped mollies and we sweatin!! I was really tempted to take a half day and stand in front of my freezer but alas, Whole Foods has a sale on boxes of mangoes for $7.99 each! So, I’m trekking outside to covet these goodies. I’m a happy girl J Update: I just went to Whole Foods and the mangoes were gone. Motherfucker.

Anyways, I wanted to approach the topic of exercise and gender roles at the gym. It’s been on my mind but an incident last week pushed me to finally write about it. It seems trouble is always looking for me…especially in the form of douchebags. I was at the gym one morning, getting my sexy fitness on with the squat rack when a guy approached me and said something along the lines of “you should lift some lighter dumbbells; the squats you’re doing are too heavy.” I thought about releasing my inner bitch but decided against it since it was so early in the morning. I opted to say, “I’m okay here at the squat rack. You can lift the dumbbells if you want but I’m fine where I’m at.” *Bitch stare* My sister knows what my bitch stare looks like and is probably laughing her ass off now. 

I mean what kind of bullshit is that?! When it comes to the gym, it is apparent how segregated it is and how gender roles impact physical fitness for both men and women. You have men who dominate the weight room, grunting and screaming, like a scene out of a horror film. You have women who take over the cardio machines, torturing themselves for hours (surprisingly, their makeup is still on. That’s suspect.) There is no intermingling between the two in the weight room. 

As an Asian American woman, I not only have to struggle with these gender roles but with people’s preconceived notions of me as an ethnic minority. I’m Asian so therefore, I have to be petite and skinny right? What am I doing with these heavy weights? I thought about what the guy had mentioned to me, and it just goes to show how prevalent these gender roles are, even in our everyday routines. That being said, I’m a huge proponent of strength training, especially HEAVY strength training. I think that women shouldn’t be afraid to confidently walk into the free weight area and push themselves. We’re not going to get big and buff like men because we do NOT have testosterone (and those who are freakishly ripped are probably on steroids by the way). Women can lift just like men and be strong and sexy.

Case in point:

 

I don’t want to bore you to death so I’ll leave it at that for today. In connection to this entry, I’m going to discuss my experience as an Asian American woman struggling with body image next week. Stay tuned!

-Diane

The Dating World. It’s Scary. And Yellow Fever is Very Much Real.

So I recently joined the dating scene, mainly because of my 2013 resolution that I needed to date more. Obviously, I wasn’t getting any action (and by action, I mean dinner dates) by just staying at home and watching movies. Long story short, I dated this one guy for about two months and things seemed like they were going well. That is, until we were discussing Halloween for some God-knows-what reason and he mentioned that he would love to see his girlfriend in a geisha costume one day. WHAT?! Hold up. Oh…shit. It’s about to get real up in here!

I kid you not; he also added that “Asian women love him long time so it wasn’t a problem getting them to wear a geisha costume.” 

I flipped out.

I literally stopped talking to him because my “yellow fever” alarm was blaring. What’s yellow fever you ask? To put it nicely, it’s the predilection that Western men have for women of Asian descent aka that nasty fetish when men obsess over Asian women because they are “exotic” or some bullshit like that. It scares the shit out of me…and it pisses me off that I didn’t catch this sooner. Now I regret all of the dinner dates we had, even though it was free. I’m such a gold digger.

It’s this strange, unhealthy obsession that turns me off to men. Not all men, but if you utter something as stupid as that, then you’re dead to me. Why can’t you like me for me? For my intelligence? Motivation? Interests? Not as an object to fulfill your sick desires. Let me tell you, dating is scary because I’m always on guard for the next ignorant remark about Asian American women. And I don’t take it lightly. Then you’d wish you never met me.

Anyone have any “yellow fever” experiences or stories they would like to share?

If you want to find out more about “yellow fever,” there is a web series to Debbie Lum’s documentary Single Asian Female that explores this issue. For more information, visit They're All So Beautiful.

- Diane

4 films you need to see now

folks in the bay area and beyond, i'd like to introduce you to CAAMFest––previously known as the San Francisco International Asian American Film Festival (whew that's a mouth full).

this is the first year they've rebranded the festival to include more than just film. the week-long festival featured cooking demos, musical performances, discussion panels, and more; perhaps inspiration was drawn from one SXSW festival?

the hunch isn't too far fetched considering CAAM's (Center for Asian American Media) Festival and Exhibitions Director was austin's own Executive Director for the sadly now-defunct Austin Asian American Film Festival (anyone interested in reprising it, btw? i have no idea what it will take, but i've got some blood, guts, and PLENTY of tears to give. hollaaa)

the film i'm most excited to share with y'all is taiwan's Go Grandriders, a documentary about a group of 80+ year olds who embark on a 730 mile epic journey on motorbikes. these grandpas and grandmas are spunky, endearing, lively, tough, introspective, enlightening, and fucking cute.

Tien-hao Hua, the documentary's director, did a fabulous job capturing tender moments and comedic gold. it made my bellyache from laughter and my eyes moist from begrudged tears––emotions are the devil, said melissa.

3 other notable films were Turn it Up to 11, Part 2 and Xmas Without China. Turn it Up follows korean punk band Galaxy Express as they tour around texas––playing SXSW and smaller shows in pizza parlors, basements, country bars, and dorm rooms. not only was it interesting to see how korean punk rockers were received in my hometown but also what they thought of the southern state. the film turned out to be a fun and heartfelt diary of folks in search of a good time in unsuspecting places.

and Xmas Without China followed a filmmaker––originally from china but who grew up in southern california––as he challenged an average white american family, aptly named the Jonses, to go the entire month of december without using or purchasing any products made in china. the Jonses' struggles, while realizing just how much comes from asia, was entertaining and downright funny at times, but the real engaging point was filmmaker Tom Xia's story and his family: reshaping american identity.

lastly, Debbie Lum's documentary Seeking Asian Female about a white man with an extreme asian fetish (and a hard drive full of mail order bride profiles) will both fascinate and alarm you. let me just say, i left the theater with a much different feeling than when i walked in -- and i'm not sure if i'm ok with that. the Q&A with Debbie and Phil Yu of Angry Asian Man filled up within 10 minutes of the doors opening and NPR's This American Life recently spotlighted the film. so it's getting plenty of buzz.

and i lied in my last entry to get you here -- i rubbed no one. allegedly.
-melissa

everyone knows thursday is the ugly stepchild

goddamn it, thursday––you snuck up on me.

i know i chose thursday as the day i would be blogging regularly each week, but i'm not sure why because obviously it's the busiest day of the week.

recovering from the weekend means doing nothing monday through wednesday, which means thursday is spent frantically trying to finish everything that has piled up on the desk (because we all know friday will be spent doing nothing in anticipation of the weekend).

but alas, i am a woman of my word! ...because words are free and i can afford them. so here i go. i am blogging.

while i wasn't prepared to write anything, how about i just give you a bit of good news, a teaser for next thursday's post, and a joke.

good news: diane has said she'll be blogging regularly each week, too. tuesdays will be the golden day in which she'll grace us with her wisdom. i am super excited and can only hope dear ol' douglas will join in on the fun.

everyone leave comments demanding douglas write something both witty and enlightening or at the very least, post shirtless photos because i hear he's been working out and getting ready for spring break (spring break, what's that...? oh, grad students and their sophomoric school schedules.) c'mon douglas, let us sexually objectify the shit out of you.

teaser for next thursday's post: i was able to attend this year's CAAMFest: rubbed elbows with the niche-famous, saw some stellar films, and failed at securing any type of work prospect. hey, 2 out of 3 still lands me in the green, i'll take it. so come back for pictures of me rubbing body parts with semi-famous people and hear about how i got out of it, hand-cuff free.

joke: taco bell's new doritos' cool ranch taco is like sexin' a hot, dumb person––awesome during, but so not worth the shit after.

see you next thursday,

-melissa

i was told i am blogging wrong

hello there (again), dear interwebz.
i am sorry that i have left you for so long to rot in cyberspace. it may have crossed my mind to abandon ship and never speak of you again -- but like so many of my other intimate relationships, i have come crawling back, perhaps while drunk but most definitely seeking validation.

i won a contest you see, and the prize was online branding consulting. yes, this is the world we live in: gone are the days when trivia night prizes consist of something cool like fake poo to leave on your coworkers chair or a subway gift certificate; instead, i won an hour to pick the brain of one of them skinny white guys who wears glasses and begin each conversation with 'i work at a start up.'

except, i didn't wield any online branding tools with which i could pick his brain, only a giant ax i use from time-to-time to cut activities i deem extraneous when feeling lazy -- like this blog (but only for a bit ... i am sorry).

so when he kicked off my hour-long prize with 'i work at a start up. ask me anything.' i said 'if you were a dinosaur, who would you eat first?' and after he refused to come up with an answer worth remembering, i said 'i have a blog. the last entry was 6 months ago, and the subject was how i failed at life,' defeated and lamenting the long-gone possibility of freaking out my coworker with fake poo.

that's when he told me i was blogging wrong. in order to build up a strong online presence, i need to post consistently -- at least twice a week, he said. and since i hate to be wrong in anything -- absolutely anything -- and that that was the only advice i remember from the shitty hour-long prize, i will attempt to blog right and post consistently.

though because i am rebellious, but really just lazy, i will post once a week on thursdays. today is tuesday but i am breaking schedule to tell you that i will post every thursday. the quality of the posts are tba.

see you thursday.

-melissa

Another Ignorant Article about "Asian Privilege"

So I decided to make my debut back as a blogger merely 1 hour ago because I was dealing with incompetent people and decided to take a break before I punched a bitch in the throat, but that’s not the point. I wanted to touch base on an article I read earlier this morning titled “Tackling Asian Privilege,” an author’s sad attempt at satire, which in turn received even sadder responses from racist pricks.

Quite frankly, I’m tired of reading shit like this. I become an angry bear, no one wants to associate with me for the rest of the day, then I cry in a dark corner with some emo music playing. I’m tired of white people (not all, mind you, but articles like this have been penned by a majority of white individuals) writing shitty articles like this, thinking they know everything there is to know about a community of color and making assumptions about us and our experiences. Not to mention, this article is ripe with insinuations that Asian people are better than other people of color out there, and stupid ass, gullible and close-minded people will believe that. This just continues to perpetuate the notion that we are the “model minority” when really it is the complete opposite. Let’s go over a couple of points: 

1. “These arrogant Orientals flaunt the racist moniker “model minority.” As a people, these Asians need to recognize they got to where they are not by the virtue of hard work but by stepping on the backs of others.”

First off, the word “oriental” is used to describe a motherfucking object, say a rug. Last time I remember, we weren’t objects but people. And if you’re still using “oriental” to refer to Asian people, then you need to get your ass whooped. You think we got where we are by stepping on the backs of others? If you disaggregate the various groups with the Asian American community, you would know that Vietnamese, Laos, Hmong, and Cambodians (Southeast Asians) are overwhelmingly among those who live in poverty along with blacks, Latinos, etc. They also have the highest drop-out rates of any ethnic group in the education system; when it comes to mental health, high suicide rates are also prevalent in these communities. But no one gives a shit about them or even cares to question it. This type of ignorance is shameful and reveals the system of oppression we struggle with.

1.     “Asian American success has been awarded to them arbitrarily and it’s up to us to take back the power and eradicate this unearned system of advantage. We need to transform society to the point where privilege is not slanted in anyone’s favor.”

You wanna talk privilege eh? Let’s talk about white privilege then. It doesn’t take much to see that privilege is ascertained to white individuals, or people who look white. Being white is the norm here . White privilege is about having benefits or advantages that people of color less likely will experience; whites do not have to worry about triggering negative stereotypes, racial profiling, presumptions of intelligence or competency, etc. Whites are more likely to accumulate wealth than other people of color. White people dominate senior level positions within corporations while Asian Americans run into a “bamboo” ceiling. Higher education institutions cater to a predominantly white population. Issues pertaining to the AAPI community are invisible. Hell, even hate crimes are committed against Asian Americans/Asians and the ramifications are minor at best. A white person can do whatever he/she wants and no one even thinks twice. Shit, if that isn’t privilege, then what the hell is?

So yes, I’m sick and tired of hearing this shit over and over.  I may have kirked off too much in this blog entry, but I get really emotional about these types of issues. Or maybe I’m just acting out against my own stereotype of being the quiet, innocent Asian girl everyone perceives me to be. Fuck that. We have a voice and it needs to be heard.

-Diane

let's all fail a little more

lately, i've been thinking about all the failure that has led me to today.

i was listening to NRP's piece on why so many ph.d.s are on food stamps and couldn't help thinking that could have been me. i could have poured my heart into my essays, drained my bank account with application and test fees, cried and pulled my hair out anxiously, and spent 8 more years in school only to come out unrecognized for my merits and to be on welfare.

and while i did do all of those things, and did them hard, i am glad all 8 programs decided i sucked as a ph.d candidate.

i am glad i failed.

though it's hard and heart wrenching and down right shitty a lot (pretty much all) of the time, it's when you've failed, stripped of everything, left with just the very core of your being, that you remember you can start over.

i say this, not from retrospect because i've still got a seat on the strugglebus, but with hope and optimism. i guess that's all you're ever guaranteed.

so, go forth and fail more because with failure burgeons new dreams.

and no one said you're only allowed one.

- melissa

Tereza Lee and the DREAM

Tereza Lee

Over on the Hyphen blog, there's a great post about pianist, Tereza Lee, and how her story helped the DREAM Act come about.

While on the surface, her life seems like every tiger mom's dream: she was a child prodigy, accomplished pianist at a really young age, accepted into prestigious music programs, and now earning her doctorates, there were major hardships and struggles to get there.

it's a touching story and a call for action to get the full DREAM ACT passed. we want more success stories like Tereza's.

-m