Everything Below The Neck

lately, i've been thinking a lot about the asian male body.

some of it is inspired by dialogue that's been swirling around social media about masculinity and asian american men, and the rest of it is driven by my own eyebrow-wiggling and awkward winks at my computer screen when sexy actors appear on my favorite korean dramas.

i'm sure you've all read the many articles floating around like:

• http://danielmagazine.com/photographing-the-inner-and-outer-beauty-of-the-asian-male/
• http://alist-magazine.com/home/a-conversation-on-asian-american-men-and-masculinity/
• http://thoughtcatalog.com/grace-jung/2013/11/i-am-producing-a-film-about-asian-american-gangsters-of-atlanta/

and heard about the new documentary in the works, A-Town Boyz, discussing the desirability and visibility of asian men.



i'm glad this has become a hot topic because if there's anything i love diving deeply into and getting involved with, it's hot men.

asian men are sexy. i think the problem lies in how we define masculinity. we need to get rid of this 1-dimensional understanding of manhood as strong, burly, rough men––that's not to say asian men don't fit that. some do. and then there are plenty of sexy as fuck asian men who are skinny, soft spoken, wear a hell of a lot of make up, and/or are artists.

with that said, allow me to introduce my latest project: Pretty Plastic Faces: Everything Perfect About Korean Dramas.  here, you'll find my most thoughtful commentary on asia's sexiest men and the wonderful world of kdramas. you can read deep, though-provoking gems on male masculinity and visibility such as

"i'd like to lick all that caked-on foundation off of chil bong's plastic, beautiful face."

"i'm just sayin', if i ever sex'ed it with a korean man and we wanted children, i'd be scared that they'd come out looking nothing like the dude…and that's kind of exciting."

"i want the boys over flowers dvd set. i want to pry it from Lee Min Ho's hands in person."

i'm going to say it and i hope that you will join me in objectifying the fuck out of appreciating asian male bodies: i do, will, and plan to sleep with a lot of asian men.

hana, dul, set! press play and let us ogle the men together at Pretty Plastic Faces.

-m

houstonian wins Masterchef

Season 3 Masterchef winner, Christine Ha

i'd be lying if i said i know what this show is about or any other cooking show on tv. i just eat. pan-seared or flash fried, all i care about is if it's tasty.

but i have to give props to one Christine Ha, a blind chef hailing from my very own streets. in the finale, Ha's competitor whipped up "butter-poached lobster with sweet corn grits, rack of lamb with curry spice and spring vegetables and bacon pecan pie" which was no match to Christine's "Thai Papaya and Crab Salad, braised pork belly with kale and a fried egg, and coconut sorbet with a ginger tuile. "

cmon, it doesn't take a culinary aficionado to know pork belly trumps all. helloooo it's thicker-cut bacon. the only thing that can beat bacon is more bacon. obvi. plus, an egg on top? someone get me Ms. Ha's number. i've got a hunger that only pork belly and fried eggs can cure (it's like breakfast on steroids!).    

what's funny is this yahoo article states the show's host, Gordon Ramsey, was quoted saying Christine won by sticking to her Vietnamese roots---did i read wrong or was the winning dish she made Thai inspired? whatever right? asian is asian! it's all the same! yeah yeah, fuck you too.

to read more about the season 3 Masterchef winner, click here  or read about Christine Ha in the Hyphen Magazine weekly TV round up! 

-m

gangnam ma

by now, you've all heard the obnoxiously (damn-it's-so-good) catchy song by a south korean rapper by the name of PSY. i first heard it when a friend had it blasting from his gchat window with the message: YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS.

it was a lot of strange images set to lyrics we didn't understand; we shrugged our shoulders and got on with life---and then 6 hours happened: because with the internet now a days, all you need is 6 hours for SHIT. TO. BLOW. THE. FUCK. UP.

it was everywhere. CNN covered it. WSJ's Jeff Yang got in on it. and even our friends over at the Asian American Writer's Workshop had something to say.

but it wasn't until i stumbled upon 'gangnam style mom' on the 'ol youtube, where a son teaches his 60 year old mother the gangnam dance, that i became obsessed--nay--enamored with this pop cultural blip. mama tuts like a boss and for damn sure, this kid got it from his mama.


fuck k-town, i say someone makes a show where gangnam mama battles punk kids in the streets set to a soundtrack of repetitive synthesized beats and the same one or two lines over and over again. the plot doesn't need to be particularly existent, just have people gather in large circles every few minutes, have mama do a lot of handstands, throw her hands up in the air like she just doesn't care, and dress her up in all different colored track suits. you've got yourself a 3+ movie installment (with 3D release!)---jon chu, you're welcome.

-m

have you seen k-town?

frankly, these folks are crazy. 
i would be crazy, but it takes too much effort and i'm lazy. 

i was going to post about the texas primaries, but no one cares about that right?

instead, let's talk about the much-anticipated (i use 'much' lightly here) youtube show, k-town, which follows a group of young (again, used lightly) korean americans--though i think not all of the cast is korean--as they drink, smash, and smash-in faces all over los angeles' notorious korea town.

we've heard the buzz for this jersey shore-inspired show for the last 2 years, but it has just now debuted on the youtube channel: LOUD, after being passed up by different tv networks.

to be honest, it's rather boring to me. maybe because i know people like these 8 who go out and drink and drama, so there isn't that same "huh? really?" reaction like there is with snooki sayz jersey shore. but i don't hate the show, if anything i guess it breaks the stereotypes of asian americans as bookish, nerdy, asexual beings. these 8 are wild, sexual, and not the brightest crayons in the box, and i welcome anything that confuses the minds that try to hold us asian americans to flat, 2D caricatures.

the show just aired its 4th 15 minute episode and while the episodes have been filled with blasé backstory (she slept with him, he slept with her, she likes-hates-him-and-her...), next week's preview piqued my interest with the k-town social convention of booking. a friend told me it involves men paying for high-priced tables at clubs and a funneling of women: attractiveness and frequency depend on the price they paid. hm, that sounds like another social convention by the name of prostitution, but fuck, what do i know?

if curiosity (or boredom) is clawing at your back, here's the first episode of k-town:

but don't blame me if your eyes fall out of your head from heavy bouts of eye rolling, if you suddenly find that you've lost faith in humanity, or if you're just really fucking bored. you have been warned.

-melissa

(anddd just in case there is someone out there who was wondering about the texas primaries...)

hands down the best whitney houston cover

16 year old jessica sanchez steals the show again with a cover of whitney houston's i will always love you. when she announced she would be singing the iconic ballad, america nodded along and spoke the words, "of course she is" to their tv sets.

with her big voice and even bigger stage presence, it just makes sense. my parents and i held our breaths while she sang for fear of disturbing the gorgeous melody with our jagged breathing. perhaps this only comes from the fat-cheeked little girl inside me, but when jessica was on stage, i felt like every little girl wanted to be her, in that blue dress, singing that song.

how exciting that we can add one more name to the list of asian americans that has america buzzing.

and fear not, i did not forget about heejun han. my boy was lookin' dapper tonight in his tux and french-cuffs, wasn't he?

his performance wasn't bad, but was no where near his best either. it was a little dull and flat with a few brief pitchy parts. the kid has mad swagger though and no doubt won a few extra votes when he presented jimmy iovine, who last week said he wasn't a fan of heejun, with an autographed picture of himself.

mary j. blige was the mentor tonight and upon hearing heejun sing for the first time mentioned, "he does not sound like i thought he would".  jlo said the same thing when he auditioned back in philly. there's the whole low expectations thing again.

listen, america, it has been 8 long years since william hung sang that horrendous cover of she bangs, and that shit still hangs over us and apparently weighs heavily on the judges' minds. we are not all william hungs. give us a fucking chance.

i think jessica sanchez will have america reevaluating their expectations of asian american artists.

asian american singers battle it out on NBC's The Voice

something is in the air, and it sounds delicious. i am lovin' all the asian american talent on mainstream tv right now.

i've written about heejun han and jessica sanchez, the two asian american american idol finalists this year, but last night on the voice, i was able to catch the battle round between two asian american female vocalists: angie johnson and cheesa laureta.

the two belted out  bonny tyler's total eclipse of the heart. there were a few pitchy parts on both sides, but cheesa made it through to the live show on cee lo green's team.

hailing from hawaii and recently relocated to LA, cheesa will get her big break on this season of The Voice, while angie is sent home after being discovered on youtube when a video of her singing adele's rolling in the deep to her military comrades went viral.

tune in monday nights at 7 pm CT to NBC's The Voice to cheer on cheesa and to join the debate outside of NBC studios on which one-hit wonder judge/cast member is the most washed up.

hello, carson daly.


-melissa

world, meet jessica sanchez

if you read my earlier post, you know i'm all aboard the heejun han american idol train, but last night's episode may have just made my ride a little bit more tricky thanks to 16 year old filipina american, jessica sanchez. during hollywood week, she did a beautiful cover of celine dion's the prayer and this week, jessica sang and danced her way through jennifer hudson's love you i do. the girl has got pipes. she was sick during this performance too. if this is how she sings with swollen vocal chords, one would probably see jesus while listening to her sing at 100%.

while she certainly has the vocals to elicit one of steven tyler's closed eyes, head back and forth, just enjoying the music responses, jessica sanchez is so much fun to watch on that stage that i wouldn't close my eyes for a second for fear of missing one of her sassy moves.

2 very talented contenders that may just give us our asian american american idol for 2012? i'm digging' it, and diggin' hard.

-melissa

next stop, american idol

we've got a basketball sensation, how about an asian american american idol for 2012, huh?

my family and i have watched american idol fanatically for as long as i can remember. we scoff at other singing shows, and yes, we even remained loyal during the shuffling of the judges. oh, simon cowell, how we miss your pissy face and tight v-necks.

this year brings a talented bunch, but there's only one soulful, bespectacled, korean american standout in the group, and that's 22 year old heejun han from flushing in queens, ny.

be still my heart because homeboy can sing. he left the judges with stunned faces and eyebrows raised (shall we bring up the low expectations conversation again? nah. we've had enough of that these past few weeks, haven't we?) in his pittsburgh audition with michael bolton's how am i supposed to live without you? and wowed them again with broken strings during the grueling and always comical group week in the hollywood round.

but there's something in addition to heejun's buttery, warm voice worth noting: he's funny as hell.

before crooning a single note, he had the judges smiling and laughing with his nervous and endearing arm wiggle, reminiscent of those flailing armed air dolls you see outside car dealerships and other businesses. outside the audition room, he told ryan seacrest his head was much smaller in person than it looked on television. he also tells ryan not to stand by him because the side-by-side comparison would be too much.

has he won you over yet? how about when he yells "hollywoooooooooooooooood" for 13 straight seconds the way "goooalllll" is yelled in soccer games, ending it with a big smile and a quick, "i'm coming!" need a little more? what about last night's final judgement episode announcing the top 24 who would go through to the live voting rounds; ryan asks heejun, "so you said you're sweating, heejun. what are you sweating?"

his answer? "mostly water". he made it through to the top 24.

it takes a lot to take the attention away from the frosted-tips, radiant smile, and tanned skin that is ryan seacrest, and heejun han does it every time he's on camera.

live voting shows start next wednesday, february 29th, 7 pm CT on fox. tune in to the talent and hilarity that is heejun han and make sure you vote. i'm sure jeremy lin wouldn't mind a little break from the limelight (or at least all the academic and social analysis articles). heejun han, let's give them something to talk about.

for more heejun hilarity:

and also check out jessica sanchez, another asian american ai season 11 powerhouse with a breathtaking version of celine dion's the prayer:

-melissa